My Diabetes is almost nine months old! What?

November 7, 2013By 0 Comments

imagesCATQIXFYI know I have said this before, in previous blogs over the last year, that little by little I feel like I am coming out of the fog post-child birth.  But this time I mean it, holy crap, I can’t believe it really took me almost as long as the entire duration of pregnancy to come out of the dark, mucky haze that has sucked me dry of energy and conscious decision-making over the last year.  Little T will be turning nine months old in over a week and I sort of feel like my diabetes is also only nine months old (even thought I just un-celebrated 23 years).  It’s as if my disease was reborn when she entered this world and gave me back my body, or so I thought.

I have talked about my breastfeeding troubles and triumphs and how that entire process really threw my blood sugars for a loop that no one had warned me about that.  I have had a few moments of clarity, wearing my sensor for a week here and there…but then never downloading my pump to Carelink to review my funky patterns.  I have given myself a pass, taken a break from diabetes to try to care for myself and my squealing bundle of spit-up and  boogers.  I instead found myself suffering the consequences of an even more tired mom with high blood sugars being woken up at night to pee just when T stopped getting up at all in the middle of the night.  The cycle of interrupted sleep never ends.

I have attempted to motivate myself to actually count carbs instead of leaning on the crutch that is the manual bolus button.  I have recently tried to remind myself over and over that the bowl of left over Halloween candy will not at all treat my low for at least 20 minutes, so really why bother with the calories.  I need to do a better job at paying attention to the patterns that I see with my numbers now that I am back to the gym on a regular basis, and seeing post work-out crashes on my meter.  I need to remember that the beauty of a pump is varying basal rates, and that I can indeed adjust them…which I haven’t done in too many months.

It’s like my diabetes is in the infancy stage along with my baby girl.  It gets stubborn, it plays well but sometimes fights back.  It even sometimes screams at me (lovely alarms), and leaks (ahh, lazy reservoir changes).  I can’t even remember how I ever did this, took such good care of this disease, less than a year ago, to prepare for a healthy pregnancy and baby.  Life is such, and priorities change.

It’s a daily battle, as we all know too well.  Along with learning new things about my baby’s development each day, I am reminded that my diabetes is a constant learning opportunity and to try to take advantage of things that I can be doing better, as a mom and as a diabetic.

Now that T is getting into the curious phase of being a crawler with a mouth that likes to taste EVERYTHING, I am slowly being taught that child-proofing means more than keeping the knives and glass vases away.  I saw this article posted by a camp alumni, Kerri Sparling, and it made me laugh.  My husband gets so frustrated with me when he finds the teeny tiny blue plastic needle guard that comes off of my infusion set, on the counter among a pile of cheerios…”Come on Regina! You need to be more careful!”  Well, I used to not give it a second thought, and now that little miss T is getting quite the curiosity streak, I need to take a step back and child-proof my diabetes, because she can be fresh too and she needs to learn the ropes, even if it is all over again!

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