A Diabetic in the Hunger Games

June 12, 2012By 0 Comments
  • Your name is Bladdress: Girl who doesn’t sleep because she pees so much
  • Your outfit for the tributes parade is a giant syringe …that should scare them
  • Your talent for the gamemakers is making blood shoot from your finger that you pricked yesterday
  • You can survive off of a lancet from a month ago
  • Your pump site will do just fine for at least 3 days in the arena and as long as there is tree sap to help stick your infusion set back on if it starts to fall off, you are all set
  • Your tubing can be used to strangle someone
  • Your strategy is to fall in love with the other diabetic boy so you can get all his extra supplies
  • When the games begin you keep your eye on the Cornucopia and head right for the juiceboxes and the CGM needles (good weapons)
  • Instead of hiding in a tree you make a campfire and sing songs that will make all the other tributes gather around, cry and think of home… until you kill them.
  • The president of the capital doesn’t believe in stem cell research, so you must win him over by marrying that diabetic boy who you used for supplies
  • In order to escape another Diabetic Hunger Games you fake a high blood sugar coma and when the hovercraft comes to get you, you take over the pilot with your ketone breath and fly to District 13 where insulin flows from the streams and juiceboxes hang from trees.

 

THE END

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